Sonic Rising: Eternities Call
by Sgt. Gorgeous
Summary: Will Mumbles the Giraffe finally be killed? Will Sonic finally reveal his true feelings for Charmy Bee? Not in this story!
1. Chapter 1

Sonic Rising: Eternities Call - Chapter 1

It was late in the afternoon when Knuckles finally returned home. He was still deeply troubled by the news he had recieved from his doctor

earlier that day. As he wearily put the key into his front door lock, he could faintly hear his television.

"I don't remember leaving the TV on.."

Now with slight trepidation he pushed the door open as quietly as he could, hoping to

find no one there, but his fears were realized when he looked in and saw what remained of his ransacked living room.

"Jesus Christ! Sonic?!"

Having dropped his groceries on the floor, Knuckles stared in slack-jawed horror at the blue nightmare on his tattered couch.

There sat Sonic the Hedgehog, pleasuring himself with an electric pencil sharpener. Sonic looked slowly upward from the midget porn he was

watching and met Knuckles' stunned gaze with a stare of vacuous insanity. A horrific, menacing grin of broken and missing teeth crossed his filthy muzzle.

Niether of Sonic's needle-punctured, bloodshot eyes could seem to stay pointed in the same direction.

"Hey Maaaaaaann.."

Fleks of bloody spittle and rotten teeth landed on the carpet as the crazed hedgehog spoke.

"But.. y-you're dead!" Knuckles stuttered. "I watched you die!"

"Not this time, man, not this time!"

The pencil sharpener was still grinding away on Sonic's shredded baculum as he spoke, and a pulpy mass of blood and penis shavings dribbled

onto the vomit-soaked couch. Sonic stood up and hurled the dripping pencil sharpener at Knuckles' seventy-one inch plasma screen TV which exploded

into a shower of sparks and flames upon impact, destroying along with it the entire entertainment center and adjacent shelves. Knuckles collapsed to his

knees as flaming globs of plastic and rare first edition hardbacks rained down about him.

"Man, nothing gets me off anymore." Sonic lamented. "Not even fire."

"I just bought that TV yesterday.." Knuckles said catatonically.

"Maybe I could get some from Amy." Sonic said to himself.

"But, she's been missing for weeks.." Said Knuckles.

"Hey, no problemo, man. I know where the body is!"

"That's not what you told the police."

"The cops can blow me, man!.. Hey, that gives me an idea!"

With a swift gesture Sonic mysteriously procured a gunk-covered box cutter.

"Well, it's been fun.." Sonic said, wiping the drool from his chin "But I gotta go, man. Gonna rob the liquor store, or the pawn shop, or somethin',

I don't know. Later, man!"

Sonic walked out the door, leaving Knuckles behind in a state of shock, watching his house burn.

The sun dipped lower into the sky as Sonic raced along the brown checkered landscape. Just ahead was Green Hill Cemetary Zone.

Tails stood numbly at the back of the crowd gathered to mourn his parents. Cream put a comforting arm around his shoulder, but before she could utter any condolences, she fell face first into a spreading puddle of her own blood. Tails looked up in suprise to see sonic standing behind him.

"Now that's what I call 'breakneck speed', man!" Sonic cackled, clutching Cream's spine.

"Sonic, you already killed my parents, why are you killing all my friends?"

"Because, man," Sonic replied with a sociopathic grin, "I'M your best friend, and I'm the ONLY friend you'll EVER HAVE!!"

Sonic tossed Cream's bloody spine aside and Tails burst into tears.

"Ya know Tails," Sonic said, pausing to take a swig from a bottle of STP brake fluid, "I've been feeling kind of 'antsy' today, if you know what I mean. The midget porn just wasn't doin' it for me, man.. Your parents are lookin' pretty hot in those caskets, man.."

Tails remembered with abject horror Sonic's coffin fetish.

"But Sonic.." Tails sniffled," you can't see them! It's a closed casket funeral, you made sure of that!"

Before Tails had finished speaking, Sonic had already pried open both lids and with his freshly sharpened penis began to violently penetrate each bullet hole he had previously inflicted upon them, to the horror and violent nausea of the entire assembly.

"This embalming fluid makes a great lubricant!" Sonic shouted with manaical glee. Tails watched, unable to register any emotion anymore, as heaving gobs of formaldehyde and bloody semen splattered onto his face. Presently, the Mobius Police had begun to encircle the area in response to several frantic 911 calls.

"This is the Mobius Police Department. Come out of the coffin with your hands behind your head!"

Sonic stepped out of Tails' father's casket, rotting flesh clinging to his teeth and twisted member.

"Shouldn't 'a called the cops, man! Shouldn't 'a called the cops!"

Without another word sonic proceeded to execute the police officers and the remainder of the congregated mourners at incredible speed. The nightmarish bloodbath became obscured as the entire cemetary erupted into a cloud of blood and organ meat. When the blood cloud settled, Tails stood alone among heaps of the dismembered corpses of his loved ones.

Sonic, however, was nowhere to be seen..

"Oh dear God, what's going on over there?"

Scratch backed away from the telescope in horror.

"Auuughkkg! I've never seen anything like that in my life!.. Grounder? Where'd you go?

Scratch looked around Dr. Robotnik's observatory, but Grounder had disappeared.

"I could sear he was right behind me.."

Scratch heard a faint scraping noise coming from the bathroom. He looked towards the door and saw the scratch marks leading to it. The scraping noise emanating from behind the door grew louder.

"Grounder you bolthead! Is that you in there?"

No response could be heard, only the scraping continued.

"I told you to stay away from those chimichangas.."

Still no answer. Scratch was beginning to feel a bit uneasy. He approached the door slowly, fearful of what he might find, thoughts of that God-forsaken hedgehog in the back of his electronic mind.

"Dr. Robotnik? Is that you?" He trembled. He had reached the door and the scraping had reached an unsettling volume. Slowly he pushed the door open and to his horror saw the hideously mangled remains of Grounder scattered about the lavatory. Sonic was standing on the sink using Grounder's drill bit nose to carve a swastika in his chest, Heroin needles bristled from his arms. Sonic's eyes darted up at Scratch, and from the evil, greasy smile that crossed Sonic's lips Scratch knew his death was rapidly approaching.

"Hey, maaaaaannn.."

Scratch turned to run, but it was far too late to escape. Sonic was already behind him.

"Like my new swastika, man?" Sonic asked through a murderous smile soaked in engine oil.

"Hitler was one cool dude, man, but between you and me, man, I don't think he went far enough!"

Scratch trembled on the oil stained floor. He knew begging for his life was pointless.

"Those stupid robots!" Robotnik fumed. "Where's the darn mail? They should have gotten it already!"

Dr. Robotnik waddled his pudgy frame down the front walk muttering to himself in anger.

"If you want something done right, you have to do it.."

Before he could finish his cliche' sentence, hovever, he had opened the mailbox to find Sonic's gruesome countenance staring back at him fom within it's aluminum confines.

"Sweet chocolatey Jesus!!" Robotnik screamed in terror, falling onto his rotund back.

Sonic leapt from the mailbox and stood before Robotnik in a tattered postal worker's uniform.

The oil stained nametag read "Coconuts".

"Express delivery for you to sign for, man!"

Sonic thrust a clipboard into Robotnik's face, a severed robot monkey hand clutched at the bottom.

"I killed you! I was at your funeral!!" Robotnik screeched in disbelief, crawling away in terror.

"Wasn't me in the coffin, man!"

Sonic advanced towards the helpless doctor, wielding the instrument of Robotnik's impending demise.

"Just put down the hedgeclippers and we'll talk about this!" Robotnik pleaded. "I'll give you anything you want! Take the stupid emeralds, just don't kill me!"

"I'm tired of your robots, man, sick and TIRED!!"

Sonic extended the hedgeclippers over Robotnik's outstretched hand and lopped off his sausage-like fingers.

"No crazy drill-car thing to help you now, fat man!" Sonic screamed, laughing hysterically, his eyes spinning in opposite directions. Sonic began to make hamburger out of Robotnik's fat torso, and as he was shredded into tiny chunky pieces, one final thought passed through his pointy head:

"I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!"

Knuckles sat dejectedly on a park bench. He hadn't seen Sonic in several days, but as troubling as this was, it was not the cause of his immediate concern.

"Oh, hey there Tails."

Tails was slowly walking by in stunned silence. At first he seemed not to notice Knuckles' greeting, but at length responded.

"You don't look so good.." Knuckles said. "What happened?"

"Sonic raped my dead parents and killed my entire family. Y'know, nothing unusual."

"Yeah, he destroyed my house in a drug fueled frenzy and blew up my TV I payed three grand for after masturbating and vomiting all over my couch. Same ol', same ol'."

Tails sat down on the bench with an air of hopelessness.

"I know he'll never kill me.." Tails sighed, "But sometimes I wish he would."

Tails looked over at Knuckles with a puzzled expression.

"Knuckles, did you shave your stomach?"

"No." he replied, "The doctor did. I'm having a hysterectomy tommorow."

"Oh." Said Tails distantly. After a slight pause, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Wait, what?! I thought you were a male!"

"I am!" Knuckles replied defensively. "My doctor says it's 'Male Uterus Disorder'. It happens occasionaly in monotremes. I don't want to talk about it."

"Me niether.." Said Tails uncomfortably.

"Oh, well." Knuckles said, shrugging it off. "Come on, I'll give you a ride back to the orphanage."

As the pair neared the car, Knuckles could see that something was amiss. Someone had eaten his tires.

"He's close!" Knuckles hissed, his head darting to either side.

Seeing no sign of Sonic in the immediate vicinity, Knuckles rushed Tails over to the car.

"Let's get out of here before he comes back!" Knuckles said in a harsh whisper, opening the driver side door.

"But Knuckles, the tires are gone!"

"It doesen't matter, we'll ride on the rims, just get in!"

With Tails in the passenger seat, Knuckles hastily fumbled the key into the ignition. Looking over his shoulder he twisted the key anxiously, but nothing happened. He turned it again, but not even the sound of a dying solenoid could be heard.

"Oh dear God.."

Knuckles slowly released his tense grip on the wooden steering wheel and sank back into the leather seat, wide-eyed in horror at the realization that the tires likely weren't the only thing Sonic had ingested, and that he thought he now knew exactly where the unspeakable blue nightmare was.

A creeping, slithering sound could be heard moving from the rear engine compartment to the space behind the dashboard.

"I should have known. God, I should have known.."

An instant later a foul-smelling blue blur erupted from behind the five dial dashboard, sending wood splinters and bits of the tachometer showering about the interior.

Tails and Knuckles stared in stunned silence at Sonic sticking halfway out of the instrument panel drinking Knuckles' battery.

"Aaaahh, nothing washes down a chili dog and steel-belted radials like sulfuric acid, man!"

Sonic flashed a cross-eyed grin of steaming, dissolved gums.

"So what's up, guuuuyys?" Sonic continued, dribbling a string of drool on the floor.

"Sonic, do you have any idea how much replacement parts cost for this car?" Knucles asked, rubbing his temples.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man.." Said Sonic, spilling battery acid on the leather upholstery. "Let me make it up to ya. I was just on my way to catch a donkey show. Let's all go, my treat!"

"Um..I..don't know about..I don't think..I.." Knuckles squirmed in his seat.

"Well then let's you and me go, little buddy!" Sonic said to Tails. "There's nothing more cool than public masturbation!"

"Fine, whatever." Said Tails distantly. Sonic had already ruined his innocence long, long ago. Nothing really mattered anymore.

Sonic grabbed Tails by the arm and in a flash they were gone. Knuckles, now alone, slumped forward onto his broken steering wheel. He thought about moving. Someplace far away, somewhere nice, where Sonic couldn't find him. Maybe Adventure Island, or Bean Valley. No, Sonic would find him anywhere.

He let out a sigh as the engine compartment burst into flames.

Rows of identical palm trees flashed by as Tails followed Sonic on their way to Low Income Housing Zone.

"This one's gonna be great, man! There's gonna be underage circus freaks!" Sonic enthusiastically cackled.

Suddenly, they slowed to an abrupt halt. A dark figure blocked their path.

"Heeeyy, maaaaaaaaannnnnn!" Sonic said, slowly tilting his head with a jagged smile.

"How many times do I have to kill you before you die for good?" The figure pointed angrily at Sonic. It was Shadow, the drug-free hedgehog.

Sonic gleefuly produced a filthy switchblade.

"How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, Shadow?"

"Until I finally put an end to your vile, diturbing, evil existence!"

Sonic glared forward, still grinning psychotically. The standoff wouldn't last long.

To be continued..


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Eel Pie

The Mobian sun rested softly on the horizon casting an ethereal orange glow that seemed to fill the air with a deepening haze. The long shadows of the trees reached along the ground becoming lost in the grassy expanses of Emerald Hill.

One shadow flickered its way across the lush grass and danced between the trees as it moved across the hill. A pair of round headlights shone unnaturally in the orange brilliance that shrouded the evening. Shadowed behind them was a strange, rust-colored car that, lacking a road to travel on, plowed slowly through the tall grass as it snaked in and out of the many coconut-laden palm trees, leaving two slowly vanishing parallel tracks behind it as it went.

"Professor, where are we?" Asked a small boy in the passenger seat. "We haven't seen the road in hours!"

"Every puzzle has an answer.." replied the operator of the vehicle in a mild British accent from under the low brim of his brown top hat.

"But professor, we're supposed to be following the puzzle Lady Borington gave us, and you haven't looked at it once!"

"That's because we're not following Lady Borington's puzzle."

"But why, professor? Where _are_ we going?"

"You see, Luke," began the professor with a calm, dignified air, "When Lady Borington asked me to solve the puzzle of the Clockwork Knight, I asked her if she could solve the puzzle of Why She Was a Rotted Bitch. When she didn't, I beat her to death with a piece of wood. So now the police are after me again, but if they wish to capture me they'll have to first solve the puzzle of Where the Hell I'm Hiding!"

Professor Layton cackled and stuffed a Yorkshire pudding into his mouth full of crooked, discolored teeth.

Not far away, the battle between Shadow and Sonic continued.

"Had enough yet, man?" Gibed Sonic, clutching a thick clump of Shadow's fur.

"Never!" Growled Shadow, painfully grasping the large bare patch on his stomach. Shadow rushed forward and delivered several furious blows to Sonic's grinning, rag-doll head. Sonic, unfazed, grabbed Shadow's ankle and swung him like a bat face first into a large rock. Shadow tottered back onto his feet and faced Sonic, righteous determination burned in his swollen face. He knew that he needed some kind of advantage to even have a chance to win, but what? A metallic object in the grass caught his eye, and he glanced down. It was Sonic's switchblade, apparently dropped during the fight. It certainly wouldn't kill Sonic, but it might be the edge he needed..

With one swift motion Shadow grabbed the grimy weapon, opened the blade and threw it with lightning-fast accuracy. The chipped, rusty blade found it's mark directly in the center of Sonic's mangy forehead and plunged in down to the handle. Sonic still stood, only now with a look of surprised confusion directed at his knife, which still vibrated from the impact and emitted a soft humming noise. Sonic was preoccupied with attempting to extract the knife firmly embedded in his skull, so he failed to notice Shadow bearing down on him at a furious rate of speed. Shadow collided with Sonic exerting every ounce of destructive force he could possibly administer onto Sonic's disease-ridden body. The pair tumbled wildly along the ground, coming to rest after a branch-shaking impact with a palm tree. When the dust cloud settled, only Shadow rose shakily to his feet. Sonic's twisted, broken body lay motionless, ground into the dirt. After a momentary glance at the lifeless abomination, Shadow turned and limped away, confident in his victory. Shadow approached Tails with barely the strength to stand. He started to say something, but Tails spoke first.

"You shouldn't have turned your back on him." Tails said, staring straight through Shadow. Shadow looked back at Sonic, but he was gone. Only a shallow crater remained at the place he had fallen. Shadow, alarmed, darted his head to all sides, but could see Sonic nowhere. He looked frantically behind himself, expecting an attack, but none came. Shadow felt a deep sickening sensation. He wanted to run, but it wouldn't do any good. Even if it would, he couldn't bring himself to move. He feebly stood in place, frozen with fear. What would Sonic do to finish him off? He wouldn't stop at killing him, that was for sure.

"Hey, maan.."

Shadow turned his head slowly to face Sonic standing directly in front of him. Sonic's foaming, drool-covered mouth was twisted into a horrifying grin of jagged, bleeding teeth. Shadow, completely spent from the fight, was helpless to defend himself. Sonic tore off one of Shadow's back spines and impaled him through the chest with it. Shadow collapsed to his knees screaming and bleeding. Sonic siezed Shadow by the tuft of fur under his chin and dragged him off at bone-breaking rate of speed. They approached a gigantic floating ring, and Sonic leaped into it with Shadow and they both disappeared. When they returned several minutes later Shadow was beaten bloodier and had two peppermint-colored bumpers jammed into his eye sockets. They had reappeared next to the goal, a large sign depicting Doctor Robotnik, which Sonic ripped out of the ground and used to beat Shadow mercilessly. The sign had begun to spin rapidly, but when Sonic returned it to the ground it slowed to a stop and had changed to show a picture of Shadow with his eyes crossed out. As Sonic was looking around for another implement to beat Shadow with, Shadow had somehow regained enough life to jump at him from behind. Shadow quickly siezed the upper hand and put Sonic in a choke hold. Sonic rammed his fist through his own body to punch Shadow in the stomach. Shadow again lay bleeding on the ground. Sonic picked up a spring from the ground and jammed it onto his right arm. He reached down and grabbed Shadow with his left and held him in the air by the neck. Finally, Sonic used the spring on his fist to deliver a ridiculously powerful, methamphetamine-fueled punch to Shadow's face that sent Shadow flailing off into the distance, leaving an airborne splattering of blood as he went. Shadow crashed back down to the ground in the same spot the fight had begun. The ultimate life form lay motionlessly gurgling beside the boulder which now bore a deep gouge shaped like his face.

"I think he's had enough now." Said Tails, standing solemnly over the unconscious hedgehog.

Sonic retrieved Shadow's discarded pistol and, after counting the bullet holes in his chest, determined it was empty.

"I can get a few bucks for this at the pawn shop, man!" Said Sonic, stuffing the gun into his shoe.

Tails cocked his ear in the direction of a faint, foreign sound. What Tails found disquieting about it was not so much the odd, foreboding sound itself, but rather it's apparent proximity.

The starter groaned loudly in the quiet fields as Professor Layton tried again to start the stalled engine. His persistent attempts had drained the battery, and the starter finally gave up in a series of feeble clicks.

"There's a spot of bad luck, eh Luke?" Said the professor as he stepped out of the strangely shaped car. "Looks as though we'll be spending the night right here." He opened one of the rear suicide doors and began rummaging about the back seat. Luke stood at the front of the car watching the last rays of sunlight dissipate into a starry twilight. The small headlights still shone dimly, as if lit by candles. Soon they too would be extinguished.

"All right then, Luke.." The professor stepped around to the front of the car. There was an enormous double-barrel shotgun broken open across his forearm. He was filling his hand with shotgun shells from a box that had a picture of an elephant in crosshairs on it. "It seems more likely than not that we will be staying here for some time. If that is to be the case, then we must supply ourselves with adequate provisions." He heaved the gun upward and it closed with a hollow snap. "Come along then, Luke. Let's see if we can't bag something for dinner."

Tails watched in silence from behind a rock as a strange figure in a brown coat walked along the riverbank wielding a frighteningly large shotgun.

"This is how we used to go fishing when I was a boy, Luke." The man in the top hat said as he dipped the end of the gun into the water. Knowing trouble when he saw it, and having seen plenty, Tails turned to leave. as he did so, he lost his footing on a moss-covered rock and fell onto a noisy pile of leaves. He lay there for a few moments, listening to see if he'd been spotted, daring not even to breathe.

"What was that, professor?" The figure in the brown coat swung around and leveled the shotgun at Tails, water pouring from the barrels.

"Sounds like dinner to me, Luke!"

Tails, near a state of panic, darted away as fast as fast as his tails could propel him. He could hear surprised voices behind him, but couldn't make out what they said. An instant later came two thunderous reports and Tails could see a tree trunk directly beside him explode in a shower of splinters. He kept running until he was sure he had placed a fair amount of distance between the shotgun and himself. He stopped in a clearing, breathing hard. A cluster of rings spun serenely as they floated above the grass. The sound of chirping crickets was broken by something crashing through the underbrush. Tails perked up his ears. It was the shotgun wielding maniac, already right behind him.

Tails took off again in terrified surprise, hoping he could get away.

Night had fallen on the Green Hills Bowling Alley. At a Hotdog Storm arcade machine near the front window a giraffe stood watching a raccoon failing level three.

"Crap in a hat, that was my last washer." Said the raccoon in an irritated tenor.

"I guess you're going to have to use real quarters now." Muttered the giraffe in a barely audible baritone.

They watched as the continue screen counted down to zero.

"Oh well." Said the raccoon. "Tomorrow I'll get some more 'quarters' from the hardware store dumpster and then we'll see who-"

He was cut off abruptly when the front window shattered to bits following an enourmous gunshot, spraying the arcade room with tempered glass fragments. The raccoon looked up from the floor in shocked bewilderment. One machine was blown open by two barrels worth of buckshot and sat smoking and sparking.

"I hope that wasn't the Karnov machine.." Thought the giraffe.

Tails dashed through the broken window in a panic-striken orange blur. He stumbled over to the raccoon and the giraffe.

"Sardonic! Mumbles! You've got to help me! There's a psycho with a shotgun trying to eat me!"

Mumbles the Giraffe registered his surprise and concerned confusion in a low, unintelligible mutter. An instant later Professor Layton appeared at the destroyed window deliberately reloading the smoking weapon.

"I've got a puzzle for all of you.." He said, cocking both hammers. "I have two shells chambered, but I want to shoot three delicious animals.."

To be continued.


End file.
